Anne-Marie Flynn
Ah, the Erasmus year. A great time for personal development, they say. An excellent opportunity to become independent, to develop and improve language skills, to figure out what direction your life will take. Leaving for Germany in September, I looked forward to doing all of the above. Not to mention living alone, meeting lots of new people and getting my very own grant to finance what I’d envisaged as a yearlong holiday. However, in my naive anticipation of the best year of my life, I’d failed to account for one small detail – all of these things would have to be achieved whilst living amongst 83 million Germans. The most efficient, rigid 83 million people in the world. And that, I have since learned, is no easy feat.
The Germans have long been recognised as one of the continent’s most formidable nations. Famous for their steely resolve, terrifying punctuality and rather unique sense of humour, it’s clear that Ireland and the Fatherland amount to the Mutt and Jeff of Europe. Cue Culture Shock.
There are so many marked differences between Irish and German life I’m not sure where to start. Perhaps one of the most noticeable is the strange German habit of dividing time into carefully considered categories. Take for instance the case of my housemate Albert. When this German maps out his day, as Germans must, socialising is often pencilled in for early evening, followed by a scintillating study session before bed. So from eight to ten, Albert is a perfectly normal, sociable being, who enjoys spending time with his friends, laughing and joking, so much so that you could almost forget that he is German. Almost.
On the dot of ten o’clock, however, this illusion is shattered as Albert, like clockwork, rises from the group and announces “Now, I must learn.” And off to learn he goes. Once study time has commenced, Albert simply refuses to interact. Why, you might ask? Isn’t it obvious? In Germany, talking, like every other activity in the world, must be restricted to specific times. Order must be maintained you see. Otherwise the world might come crashing down.
Speaking of order, the strange obsession with adhering to ridiculous rules is another mind-numbingly irritating aspect of the great German character. No matter how small the hour, how empty the road, never will you ever catch a German crossing the road if the light is red. When questioned about the futility of this behaviour, said German will most definitely always respond “but it’s the law”. The law it may be, BUT IT’S STUPID.
On top of that, the Germans are always awake. This annoys me. They frown upon anyone who sleeps past 8, regardless of what time you went to bed. In the same vein, there’s no such thing as a hangover where Hans and Helga are concerned. A hangover would be akin to weakness. And we most definitely couldn’t have that. They’re always annoyingly early. They laugh at you for watching TV all day, while they voluntarily attend classes on Ancient Greek language and culture. They all play sports. And music. And paint. And write poetry. They are the overachievers of the world. This explains a lot I suppose, historically speaking…
However, all that said, credit must be given where credit’s due. And much as it pains me to say it, if there’s one thing for which the Germans deserve credit, it’s their university system. The minute you enter a German classroom, something is inexplicably different to its Irish counterpart. It comes down to this – the students really want to be there.
An average German student
In Germany, a place at university is still accompanied by a significant sense of prestige, a result of the competitive schooling to which German children are subjected from the age of ten. Towards the end of primary school, teachers are obliged to recommend each of their pupils to certain type of secondary school, based on academic performance up to that point. Only the crème de la crème are chosen to attend Gymnasium, the only type of school which prepares German students for the Abitur (the Leaving Cert equivalent), the qualification necessary for entrance into university education. University thus remains an institution reserved for an academic elite and German students consequently value, appreciate and work to maintain their place there. This makes a refreshing change from the indifference of so many Irish students who have simply found themselves at college by default.
German universities also allow students a great deal of academic independence when it comes to the structure of degree and masters programmes. Compulsory courses are practically unheard of and students are granted the freedom to tailor their degrees to reflect their own interests and strengths. The degree of flexibility in terms of subject combinations for Bachelor’s degrees puts Ireland to shame.
All that said however, I’ve always been of the opinion that the ultimate measure of a university is the kind of people it turns out. So if you’re into perseverance, diligence, sobriety and success, then Germany’s the place for you….
As you can see, there is much ground for conflict between the mediocrity of the Irish (to which I’ve happily resigned myself this year) and the German desire for success. No need to fear a fight though. Let’s be honest, the Irish are probably too lazy to start one. And the Germans aren’t allowed. So alles gut for now.
