Dec 20, 2012

What to do before the world ends

The Mayan calendar seems to indicate that the world will end today.

Clementine Yost

Staff Writer

We’ve all heard the hype about the world ending tomorrow, Friday, 21st December.


Most of us think it’s crap. There are the odd few who believe it (take the Russian panic over the coming Mayan apocalypse or the frenzy it has caused in China)

If the world ends on time with the end of the Mayan calendar, then most likely it will end in Mayan fashion. They wrote of the end of the world as the time when all bad things and all bad energy dissolves from the Earth and all the remaining existence painlessly becomes one with the greater energy that is the universe. On the bright side, at least the world ending won’t hurt.

Still, what to do before the world ends, just in case it actually does? If you’re going to be up there with the likes of Albert Einstein, Siddhartha Gautama, Mother Theresa and John Belushi, you might want to have accomplished something or at least done something interesting in your life. Here are 21 things to do today before the world ends.

  1. Streak. There’s no way to get in trouble come the weekend.
  2. DIY underground apocalypse shelter. You will need a shovel, tarp, rope, stakes and wooden planks.
  3. Lord of the Rings marathon. Clearly with the extended editions.
  4. Get into a high-speed chase, with a Maserati or Ferrari. They’ll all be written off anyway.
  5. Party hard. Get absolutely locked on the most expensive alcohol you can buy. What is money in a post-apocalyptic world? What’s a hangover in heaven?
  6. Order dessert. There is no use for being skinny and hot when the world is ending.
  7. Sing in public. Loudly. All the time. You might as well, as the judgement you’ll incur for it will pale in comparison to the reckoning of the apocalypse.
  8. Go skydiving! What’s the worst that could happen?
  9. Laugh until it hurts.
  10. Compliment a total stranger on something you like about their appearance. Just make a randomer’s day. Do it. It’s fun.
  11. Bulk-buy your favorite confectionery and eat it until you get sick. Then eat it again.
  12. Go skinny-dipping. Come on, you’ve all considered it at some stage.
  13. Wear your most formal clothing around the place, even when doing tedious tasks like grocery shopping. You only get to look nice for one more day.
  14. Take part in a flash mob.
  15. Find out who the mother of Ted Mosby’s children is.
  16. Be a Good Samaritan with a paintball gun. You see someone being mean, paintball. Someone steals an old lady’s purse, paintball. You get the gist.
  17. Kiss a stranger. How fun would it be to just randomly kiss someone?
  18. Tell someone (someone who you don’t usually get emotional with) how much they mean to you. You won’t get time to do it when all of the earth’s matter is dissolving.
  19. Delete people you don’t actually know from your Facebook friends list. Now is as good a time as any.
  20. Ask that person out; you’ve wanted to for ages. Book a table for this evening just in case.
  21. Most importantly, spend time with your family. Ideally, they will help you complete this list.

You’d better get crack-a-lackin’, since the end is nigh in all of 12 hours.

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