Sneaking into Trinity Ball is a military operation, but can be pulled off if you are bold enough. As most of us are well aware, the chances of being left without a ticket for Trinity Ball were astonishingly high this year. Many have found themselves despairing, down trodden and hard done by as tickets for this year’s ball sold out at record speed. Here we have a comprehensive list of the best, or most ballsy, ways that people have come up with to sneak into the ball. Take them with a pinch of salt.
The High-Vis Heist
This is a well-known stunt, which involves a high-vis vest, some convincing-looking overalls and a chicken roll to tuck under your arm for the sake of authenticity. Playing dress-up seems like one of the most legitimate ways to get past security. In the years gone by, creative endeavours have included things like using expired staff cards to get into “your office”, claiming to be on the maintenance or security teams by donning a high-vis vest or pretending to be paramedics. The final costume relates to an infamous and unfortunate article that was published in 2015’s Trinity Miscellany Ball Guide, which told the story of two students who had dressed up as paramedics, gotten into the ball and wrongfully taken advantage of an unwell woman. Heisters beware.
Mi Casa es tu Casa
The second-best way to sneak into Trinity Ball is by hiding in a residents’ apartment on campus. The Junior Dean will inevitably search all apartments before the ball but with careful vigilance and preferably a very small frame, this has proven to be a successful method of sneaking in. Colourful tales go as far as recounting floorboards being lifted so that fugitives can hide under the floor, or less dramatic but just as uncomfortable is the option of hiding for an entire day inside a wardrobe or underneath a bed. You will need to find a resident willing to be your partner in crime for this one.
Hitting the Wall
There have been numerous rumoured attempts to scale the walls of Trinity in order to make it to the ball. Climbing trees, jumping gates and breaking through fencing. Perhaps the most famous of these is the one outlined in Mary Robinson’s autobiography. When reminiscing about her college days, Robinson recalls sneaking in with the help of her brothers, Henry and Aubrey, using a ladder to scale the wall. This feat was made even more impressive by the fact that she completed it “in a full length-dress”. Follow in the footsteps of our former president and find yourselves a ladder.
Hide and Seek
Trinity campus itself offers a plethora of interesting cubbyholes to hid in, if you are willing to plan in advance. Failed attempts have included a boy who was found sitting in a tree for hours on the cricket pitch, so for this one, good imagination is necessary. There is the infamous roof in New Square, which has been rumoured to have held a whole host of hideaways, providing easy access to the ball once the sun went down. This had to be a year-long endeavor as students would slyly open the door to the roof months in advance so as to go undetected by security. There is also a reported “hole” somewhere in the Museum Building, which can be filled by a ticketless body, although it is a grim six-hour stake-out for those who find it.
Cry me a River
If all else fails you could always try the most simple stunt of all: appealing to the better nature of the security guards by crying your eyes out in front of them. You don’t even have to act, the tears will flow naturally as it shall be your last attempt to get in to the most highly anticipated event of the year. Sometimes the good-hearted security guards understand this, and may agree to help out such a hapless soul. Other times you’ll find yourself verbally attacked and pushed to one side. Well, it was worth the try wasn’t it?