With all the fuss about Normal People over lockdown, it was easy to forget about the actual normal things in Trinity. But here at The University Times, we deliver The Truth and Hold Power To Account – so we’ve put together a shortlist of some of the more normal realities of life on campus that Rooney’s story forgot to mention.
If you’re ever on campus this year, watch that burrito you’re holding. These savage birds will cluster around you, eying your lunch up with their heads cocked to one side as they plan their assault from above or below – you can never be sure. It’s the real life version of the MINEMINEMINE seagulls in Finding Nemo but with a Dublin accent. Terrifying.
Love them or hate them, tourists are running through the veins of this fine establishment (because they very much fund the continued existence of this fine establishment.) Whether they block your way to class by spreading out their Dublin maps to locate the Book of Kells that stands directly behind them, or ask you to take a picture for them after said class, they’ll make themselves known to you. Keep an open mind – you might learn to love them and their insistent use of the selfie stick.
Trinity is away with the birds, truly. But don’t be mistaken. Seagulls and pigeons are very different. Caw vs coo. Pounce vs peck. Terror vs “tut tut, you poor crater”. If you survived the wrath of the seagull, then be sure to watch out for those pigeons shuffling outside of the Arts Block, walking in circles, not having a clue what it’s doing with its life – like most arts students, actually, come to think of it. Tut tut, the poor craters.
Although it is blasphemous that the Pav does not get the nod in Normal People, Marianne never did strike me as the type to darken the pub’s doorway on a Friday evening. She would have had to – heaven forbid – mingle with Hamilton students and it isn’t quite a champagne-flute-serving (or wine-serving, even, for that matter) establishment. It’s a normal people establishment. (Listen, it took me this long to resort to word play. Cut me some slack and hand me a Prazsky.)