Katie Meegan|Contributing Writer
I got my first kiss at the tender age of fifteen. In the grimy hot bed of hormones that was an underage disco in the back end of Cavan I finally crumbled under the surmounting peer pressure and employed my best friend to ask random boys “Will ya meet my friend?” Eventually some poor unfortunate did and saliva was exchanged, firmly putting me on the path to womanhood and setting the tone for countless nights and awkward cinema dates to follow.
Why are Irish people obsessed with the shift? I cannot count the number of times girl friends of mine have sighed into mirrors proclaiming their hopes of finding another person of the opposite gender to stick their tongue down their throats. When did the shift become an integral part of a single person’s night out? As a close male friend of mine once put it “I just get drunk and God intervenes”. Which I have to admit, in my view sums up pretty much any night out. Perhaps not God, but a unique collective of social and cultural factors certainly intervene to provide us with the Irish cultural trope known as “random shifting”.
As a close male friend of mine once put it “I just get drunk and God intervenes”. Which I have to admit, in my view sums up pretty much any night out
First of all kissing itself is a purely Western phenomenon. Scholars are still unsure if kissing is a learned or instinctual behaviour. Anthropologists are divided into two schools on the origins of kissing, one believing that it is instinctual and intuitive and the other that it evolved from what is known as kiss feeding, a process used by mothers to feed their infants by passing chewed food to their babies’ mouths. The former school of thought also elaborates to include suggestions that kissing evolved from prospective mates sniffing each other’s pheromones for biological compatibility. How romantic.
It gets weirder; in 1929, anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski visited the Trobriand Islands in the South Pacific to observe their sexual customs. He found that two lovers will go through several phases of sucking and biting in a variation of the French kiss that culminates in biting off each other’s eyelashes. In fact, in the South Pacific, short eyelashes are a status symbol. Definitely something you do not want to have happen to you in the middle of Coppers.
What about the terminology itself? “Meet”, “Shift”, “Pull”, “Score” and “Get off with” are all common phrases to denote this ancient act commonly and pseudo scientifically known as a “French Kiss”. How the French can to claim this art is another story in itself; the term “French kiss” came into the English language around 1923 as a slur on the French culture which was thought to be overly concerned with sex. In France, it’s called a tongue kiss or soul kiss because if done right, it feels as if two souls are merging.
The term “French kiss” came into the English language around 1923 as a slur on the French culture which was thought to be overly concerned with sex
Jake spent 2 months in France and noticed a clear contrast in French teenager’s behaviour to that of their Irish counterparts. “It seemed to me like everybody is so much more laid back about dating and stuff over there.” He says “Nobody’s particularly ashamed of how they feel, so I think it’s easier to fall for somebody or to start seeing someone, however, that also seemed to produce much faster, concise relationships”. He continues to state that “the French culture seems to separate clubbing from dating.” His sentiments are echoed by Anne, originally from The Netherlands, she spent a year in France before coming to Ireland; “I’d say that people are a lot less clear and direct than where I’m from.” She states “I went out with an Irish guy last year and for the whole period we were dating, I had no clue ‘what’ we were. Back home, I’d know at the end of the second date… It seems like the whole emotional side of relationships is ignored and replaced by ‘ah sure it’s grand’, which I find a bit worrying.”
Are we neglecting real emotions and possible relationships for the sake of a score? And what about the influence of the notorious naggin? Anne continues; “The ‘oh I’m sorry I was very drunk, it didn’t mean anything’ excuse doesn’t work. It’s also simply not done to shift multiple people during the night, it’s not something young ‘adults’ would do.” Ali spent a year in Beijing, where the social constructs of dating are far more clearly defined than the three day rule. For one, who you date is heavily influenced by your social standing and your parents approval; “Their parents’ approval was very important. It is especially hard for a woman to get her boyfriend’s parents approval. They are notoriously hard on them.”
Far from the “treat them mean keep them keen philosophy” women in China follow a procedure called “sa chi”. Ali explains; “There’s a strange dating culture of a woman showing her love by being really clingy and childish. It’s so strange. Like there were 26 year old law masters students that I was friends with and they would throw a tantrum if their boyfriend wouldn’t do something they asked.” But what do the men think of this, what seems to us as, odd behaviour? “I did talk to some Chinese guys my own age” Ali continues “and they said they liked it because it showed that she really does care enough about the relationship to want it to be perfect and for his undivided attention to be hers, because she really loves him.” How did this custom fair in our Western view? “Like, the Chinese way might be sort of artificial with the tantrums and the clinginess and the gifts-because-I’m-supposed-to culture they have, but they are sober the whole time pretty much. It’s at least sincere.”
“It seems like the whole emotional side of relationships is ignored and replaced by ‘ah sure it’s grand’, which I find a bit worrying”
Could it be possible therefore to allow the continuation of the shift and drift culture without the aid of the infamous beer googles? What about in countries where the majority of teenagers and young adults cannot drink until they are 21? Leo, originally from New York states “Making out in clubs is one of the main differences I’ve noticed between here and home. Most people don’t really start going to clubs until they’re 21 so if you want to get off with somebody you’d usually go to a house party.”
Maura from California adds “the clubbing culture here makes it so easy, dangerously so, to casually shift and then not feel like you’ve made the best life decisions in the morning. But really when it boils down to it, this is the only time that shifting rampantly is somewhat acceptable”. But how to the Irish measure up in comparison to frat parties and the hook up culture? Maura goes on “I’d say from what I’ve noticed is that the boys here seemed to be a little bit more polite. I think there is slightly more of a dating culture compared to the hook-up culture in the states.”
Is the shift and drift mentality really all that bad? Carolina moved to Ireland when she was seven; “Yes even from that young age people were shifting since they were not shy at all. I found when I moved here that people were not as open.” She elaborates “In Moldova, like Spaniards or the French, even when new people are introduced they kiss each cheek. It’s the culture I suppose that opens people in the ‘shifting’ sense. Well, I was too open and often got slagged for that. But I didn’t react badly, I just adjusted to the norms here.”
Despite everyone having gotten the shift at some time or another nobody ever seems to stop and consider the possible implications of their actions. Carolina digresses; “I think the good old romantic French kiss has lost its meaning since we shift so often. We forget it’s meant to be special with people we truly care about rather than the sensation for the duration of the shift.” Perhaps we could all learn something from this diversity of cultural advice and experience to realise what is right for you as a person, not just as a mouth with limbs. Except maybe not biting off your partners eyelashes. That could get weird fast.
